John Manyike, Head of Financial Education at Old Mutual

Cupid might have a bow and arrow, but scammers have smartphones, fake profiles, and some seriously convincing sad or dramatic stories. With Valentine’s Day around the corner, Old Mutual warns that matters of the heart could come with a very real price tag, as online dating scams are on the rise. Victims are not just losing trust; they are losing money.

Old Mutual’s Head of Financial Education, John Manyike, says romance fraud is particularly insidious because it targets the pocket through the heart. “It often begins with charm and focused attention, then gradually escalates into sharing sad or dramatic stories, which eventually leads to requests for money to ‘solve’ those problems. By the time victims realise what is happening, they may have lost thousands of rands as well as weeks or months of emotional energy.”

According to European bank TSB, money sent to romance scammers jumped 37% in a year, while case volumes increased by 15%. This shows that while love may be in the air, deception is too. Scammers often build trust with victims patiently over weeks or months, creating elaborate stories of hardship or opportunity before asking for financial assistance.

Manyike adds that women are often targeted by these scams, drawn in by what appear to be sincere expressions of interest or affection. Scammers deliberately exploit trust, empathy, and feelings of loneliness, with a deliberate plan to manipulate emotions to create a bond that can cloud judgment and lead to costly decisions.

Below are some key signs to watch out for, warns Manyike.

• Requests for money or gifts early in a relationship, often under pressure or emergency scenarios
• Inconsistent or evasive personal information
• A profile or story that seems “too good to be true” or overly dramatic
• Reluctance to meet in person, or excuses why a video call is not possible

“Romance scams leave victims not only out of pocket, but emotionally drained and deeply shaken. Losing both your savings and your trust in others is devastating. So, understanding how scammers operate is the most important step in protecting yourself because love should never come at the cost of your financial security,” cautions Manyike.

Financially, the impact can be devastating. Some victims start by losing small amounts at first, only to find themselves increasingly pressured to provide larger sums. Others may even incur debt trying to help their supposed partner in a crisis. The emotional toll, the stress, anxiety, and betrayal, all often linger long after the money is gone.

Manyike advises South Africans to be vigilant and proactive in protecting themselves. “Never send money to someone you have only met online. Verify identities, ask tough questions, and involve friends or family if something feels off. If your gut says this isn’t right, it probably isn’t. And if you do fall victim, report it immediately to your bank and local authorities. In such situations, acting fast can prevent further loss”.

This Valentine’s Day, Old Mutual encourages people to remember that self-love includes financial security. Enjoy the romance, but don’t let the excitement of new love blind you to warning signs. “Falling for a romance scam can leave more than heartbreak, it can leave your bank account empty too,” adds Manyike.

He concludes, “your heart may be fragile, but your finances don’t have to be. A little caution, some verification, and a healthy dose of scepticism can help you celebrate love safely this Valentine’s Day”.

ENDS